How I got here!

 If you've  ever read my blog even without  my last post, you will  have guessed my weight plays a big part of my life. I wasn't always over weight fat. As a child growing up in post war Britain I was skinny, in photographs my arms were stick thin. So what happened? 

In my twenties, with each of my pregnancies I hardly gained any weight, only the then allowed 21 lbs. Although I did gain more with my last and forth. My Ex didn't want another child, so he punished me by not talking to me from when my pregnancy was first  diagnosed, for about 7 months. Can you believe that? But even worse I put up with it. So when I wasn't crying, I ate. So my weight went to 30 lbs, not a lot, but the extra weight  took ages to lose. Then he was adamant I wasn't to breast feed! Why? And why did I agree? 

I look back and wonder why I did those things? I got my weight right down, I think I used to starve myself. My neighbour. who had become a very good friend remarked that I looked too thin.  

So when I heard that, the London University was opening a satellite college in the next town. I applied for the three year course and was accepted. I got a degree in Education and started teaching. The perfect job for someone with 4 children. My life settled down and my Ex was away a lot with his work. But then something happened and I went to a Solicitor.

Teaching had given me independence, now I had my own income, so I left.

Then.......

While I was going through that very unpleasant divorce, changing teaching jobs and buying a house, all at the same time, the added strain was too much and I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. I had gained weight, lost hair, asleep all the time, in fact went to sleep holding a cup of tea twice, but didn't think I needed to see a Dr. But when suddenly my periods got really heavy, I thought I'm not putting up with that! I went to see my Dr and he diagnosed hypothyroidism, there and then without even a blood test. 

I worked hard to lose that weight and I did, but I noticed for the first time in my life I had a tendency to gain weight. I cut out all high calorie foods, lost weight  and maintained my weight at 8st 6lbs! Seems like a thousand years ago now. But between then and 2002  I steadily gained, and I was plump, not fat but no longer my slim self.

I swam, joined an exercise group which I loved, but the  tendency to gain weight continued. Every now and then I'd join a sliming group, several in fact, but still my weight increased. When I met Dh in 2004 I was a size 16.. and then when we married in 2006, my weight dropped. And I stayed there, not slim but not overly fat. 

When I tripped and broke my arm, 2015  all exercise groups stopped, I wasn't able go walking, I didn't garden and yes I gained weight. Each operation on my arm (4 operations over the three years) didn't help, I was doing very little. 

The final straw for me was lockdown, over the whole time I gained another 2 stone! Moving house in the middle of it didn't help, I was anxious and stressed and its only now I seem to have felt calm. So am seriously trying to lose this extra weight, whether I will or not, who knows, but I am determined and will continue to try.  So this is how I got over weight, I never ate a lot of take-aways, nor chocolate, or alcohol, but I did make and eat cake, and didn't do a lot of exercise.

At this moment writing this, its Saturday afternoon, rain has stopped our gardening and we're reading 'cosy' inside. Am I hungry ? No, but do I want something to eat? YES! An ice-cream cornet would be nice, but I want that 2 pounds loss again next week and now I've told you, I won't  can't have an  ice-cream!

But its not easy!

Chrisxx