In 2003 I started a Smart Group's chit chat group with another woman, who decided after getting a job, she was too busy to run it. It was called '12 Friends;' I carried on and in 2023 we are still going strong.
Numbers have changed over the years and so have the members. Smart Groups ceased and Yahoo took over, but we kept going.
In recent years we left the 'umbrella' of Groups to just using our email addresses and so we have continued. Over the years we've had babies born, grand children, not us! Two members have died, which was very distressing, as we didn't know right away. I got married, one other member's partner died and another member's husband also died.
We are like a family looking out for each other, writing every day.
Our daily emails reporting, what we were doing, family news, weather, cake making, dieting, gardening, crafting, moans, just the sort of things women talk about.
In this last four or five months, it has been just 4 of us, but we still managed between us on average, 30 or more posts a day.
But.... someone who hadn't replied or written for months on end has suddenly popped up and said she hadn't any mail and said she thought she had been dropped off the group posts, as she wasn't 80!!
I feel insulted and aggrieved, if she had written, we would have answered her, but there has been nothing for months. She was always saying her large garden took all her time and we thought just that. She doesn't have a TV, so her evenings would be free to write?
I want to quit the group that I started and feel she has in some way sullied us. I've thought about it and worried about it and feel very unhappy about the situation.
What shall I do?
Chrisxx
7 comments:
What a privilege to belong to such a group. Maybe she needs to explain a little more? Has she actually contributed anything and it has got last?
That is a dilemma for you, perhaps you would dearly miss the group if you quit it. Perhaps the group can continue on as before, and that lady can chime in if and when she wants. Likely she won't and the group can continue on, it is so valuable to know people over the long term.
I would just say 'really sorry that's how you feel', explain, and include her in again. I think you'd miss the group very much indeed.
Maybe she has been plucking up courage to post again and ask.
Hoping this all resolves for you.
xx
I am sorry that happened to you. I do love the idea of the group! How nice, and to have it going after all these years!
Take no notice, and carry on with your lovely friendly group.
There are some people out there, who once they hit their 80's, loose all sense of thought, diplomacy, tact, care and the ability to deal with techie issues completely and this lady has obviously fallen into this bracket.
I know this because my Mother is just like this member of your group and would respond just the same.
Your emails have probably been going into her spam account and she's not thought to check it.
You carry on writing your emails and just move on - she's just one individual with no tact and shes certainly not worth you loosing the friendship and support from the genuine group members
Take care Anne x
I wouldn't quit the group if I enjoyed being in it. Just say, "Sorry you didn't get the emails; hope you'll get future emails" and leave it at that. Sounds like you have a nice group of friends checking in and chatting with each other. :)
I think the problem with writing rather than talking is that sometimes you can miss things, such as the tone an email or message conveys. I don't think there's anything to feel insulted about, perhaps she didn't get the emails and decided not to get in touch for any number of reasons but is now feeling lonely. A hand of friendship would be the kindest thing perhaps.
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