A few weeks ago, someone I know with members of their family, all arranged a weekend here in Porthcawl, to celebrate a birthday. They all had booked caravans at Trecco to enjoy the facilities there and hopefully some sunshine. Horribly their long weekend ended abruptly, when they received a message from home, to say a fifteen year old in the family had ended her life. Why? Its suggested it was to do with social media.
A group of parents, whose children had also taken their lives have grouped together and visited America to meet with other parents, who are also grieving the death of their young children. To support each other and lobby for better controls of certain sites.
They all want changes in social media to make an age limit on certain sites. We watch on line films and stream programmes, where they ask are you under or over 18 and we just click 'over,' without even thinking. So the argument for stronger checks on certain sites seem very necessary to me and most other people too. I don't even know of these sites, I've never seen them. In fact where sometimes I have had a pop up of something I don't like, I quickly cancel it it, because I believe once you have seen something you can't 'unsee' it.
Twenty years ago a close friend of mine daughter killed herself, because her boy friend had done the same a few weeks earlier.. (nothing to do with social media) And I remember talking about the awful way it had happened with my own daughter, and she saying 'what did she think her mum would do that weekend without her' It was such an awful happening, we couldn't understand it wasn't just that weekend, but for ever. My friend moved away, because she couldn't cope with the way people avoided her, crossing the road to avoid her. I tried to explain it was because they didn't know what to say to say. What do you say? I used to say, 'I don't know what to say, but I can listen.'
There seems to be a generation of the young, who are being influenced by un truths.. you can't convince me that all those entries and posts on social media of them having a 'wonderful' time is all true. And it seems, there are sites telling you how to end your life?? And sites with challenges to do certain things that could end your life.
What a sad way our so called educated society has evolved, what has happened? Parents, schools, lack of faith, life what is wrong? What is the answer, what do you think?
Chrisxx
9 comments:
I don't think it is the fault of teachers or parents, who are doing their best to nurture and guide our young people in much the same way that they have always done. Loss of faith may be part of it, since I doubt if teen suicide is such a problem in ethnic communities with strong religious beliefs and us older folk were brought up thinking that suicide is a sin (even if we didn't believe it).
The biggie is the unrelenting pressure on teenagers - online bullying, pressure to conform from social media and unrealistic expectations of people who are at a very difficult period of their lives. Not everybody can get stella grades. Not everyone who does so wants to go to university and get burdened with debt. Not everyone can have flawless skin and an extensive fashionable wardrobe.
I don't know what the answer is, but I think that online influencers and the easy availability of information pushing suicide as an answer to problems, are a big part of the problem.
I don’t know the answer but as someone who spent her whole working life with young people, it makes me so sad. Catriona
People may not like my comment but everyone has the ability to not use social media. There is a great outdoors to see and explore, just shake yourselves down and breathe fresh air. Lastly, be an individual and be true yourselves. Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful posts. Jan D.
Bringing up a family has always been difficult, but the challenges have changed through the decades. There should be more restrictions on what young people can access, but there will always be those who want to push the boundaries and wii find ways to bend the rules.
I remember how sad I was and all my classmates were when a boy killed himself and we had no idea why. No Face Book 55 years ago to influence him.
A friend of our daughter lost her 20+ child to suicide recently. Everyone was devastated. Our daughter used that time to talk to her two elder girls, a tween and early teenager about the subject. She also limits their internet time and monitors it.
The thing is, nothing is guaranteed to prevent such a death. One has to keep the lines of communication open and pray you will catch any issues which arise.
When they leave home is another issue.
I think it is impossible to control access to online sites. My great-grandchild lied about her age so she could get on Facebook when she was 11, and her mother allowed it! Simply asking one's age before entering a site is no deterrent, unfortunately.
A neighbor's 21 yo son committed suicide while playing some online Russian roulette game. So sad, and his dad was devastated. They had adopted the boy when he was very young. They had no idea he was even awake that night, or on the computer.
No words. It's so tragic.
What Granny Sue says. The internet is a monster which can penetrate into everyone's lives, just like the television sets which found their way into almost every living room in the land. Those who control the content will inevitably control everything, such is the power of suggestion through a screen. Young people need guidance to filter out what is real and what is not. I remember when I was a teenager I was hooked on the soaps, had to watch every week to find out what was happening next. I thought of the actors as real life characters. Now I am much much older I see things differently, and I am skeptical about everything. The level of evil out there has skyrocketed and vulnerable youngsters will fall prey to them. I wish I had the answer. It's almost impossible to monitor what kids watch online. I see some schools are banning smartphones. That would be a step in the right direction. Then it's down to parents to talk to their kids.
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