Thank you everyone that left a comment and those of you who emailed, it's lovely to read those messages.. and since then...
….I have got myself together, and after all my blog is called
'Always Smiling.' I don't think I have ever let myself get so down. I honestly believe that it's up to yourself as to how you feel. So I have started to do the damn arm exercises (excuse the swear word) because they cause such pain and then I can't move my arm for a few days. I have had said to me, by someone I thought loved me, that I should be grateful ......after all it's not cancer! That was so hurtful I was devastated. Surprisingly we don't speak any more!

The problem with pain is... it doesn't show! She has never seen me struggling to pull up my knicks, that's why I only wear skirts I couldn't cope with slacks. I am trying to use my right arm, but to be really honest between you blog friends and not anyone else, it doesn't come naturally and I hardly use it at all.. except of course knitting and crocheting but the surgeon said that wasn't using it properly, as I am only using my hand. But I 'm still smiling... just!!
What would you do if someone you loved and thought loved you, said something so hurtful, it took your breath away? I couldn't speak and choked back tears and hung up the phone.