Monday, 11 August 2014

My fat story!!!

Can you imagine wanting something that others say is an easy target? And you really, really want it but it keeps slipping out of your grasp?

That’s me and trying to lose weight. I started a record book of my weight loss journey 14 years ago. I called it my ‘Fat Book.’ In it I stuck photos of me, photos cut out of magazines of women who were the shape I wanted to be, not Kate Moss look alikes, but ordinary women. Also clothes I would like to wear, exercises I should do.. one was a bike, can you imagine me on a bike?? I couldn’t balance and as I got older I was afraid of falling and breaking a leg, or an arm. Foods I ate or didn't eat, how I felt and what I was trying to do.

Me, trying to lose weight I think is like a marathon, but I don’t approach it like a person training for a Marathon! They train and follow a strict regime if they want to come up there in the first few out in front. I know all this, I know calories, fat free foods, eating healthily and that the best and cheapest form of exercise that needs no exercise machine, is just walking. I have a husband that walks every day with our dog. He is willing to walk with me. But I hate it. I make excuses.  (it was too windy today!!)
So why can’t I do it? Some days it is a struggle; today  I wanted cake, but I ate cherries, an apple and then a cup of beef oxo. I felt full and actually lost the craving, but if we had cake in the house I would have eaten it! I didn’t put on any weight when we were in France, but I had already put on 3 pounds before we went! It was like a green light,  we were having a holiday and to me that meant ‘treats!’  And I treated myself generously.

So here I am again, trying to lose weight!  Building a new dream to be slimmer.. note I didn’t say slim, I ‘d be happy to be slimmer.

For a two years  I have had my…….
Dream weight.
Happy weight.
Acceptable weight.
Disappointed weight.
All listed for me to see daily and in two years I haven’t even got to my disappointed weight.
Does anyone else ever feel like me, that being slimmer it is out of my grasp? Or are you how I used to be, could eat anything and stay the same weight?
What is the answer? 


Jacquie Morris said...

Your not alone... I too am actively trying to lose weight. I actually started blogging for this very reason..and my love of stitching and crafts takes over. I do still post nice healthy things I eat.. as for exercise...hmmm now with a bad knee its difficult but I dont stop trying. I am the same when it comes to food.. its a constant struggle, but over time now I have managed to cut out my sweet tooth... I was a real sugar junkie! Little and often is my key... trial and error too! You have to find your own healthy balance.. know and understand yourself enough to trust yourself to say no, no thanks... I found that the hardest!!
I was recently involved with filming with the BBC here in UK.. following my weight loss (and my daughter) here is the link if you want to take a look...
I will never give in.. its just about learning to what is best for you.
Good luck, dont forget... your not alone with this.
Smiles :)

Clare - Aimetu said...

My weight has gone up and down all my life - I was never slim and I do love my treats. I have stick to diets and lost weight and put it on again.

In the last 6 months I have put some more on but for once I am not bothered in joining another (or the same) diet club. At the moment I am just being happy to be me :-)

EvalinaMaria said...

Jacquie is absolutely right - you are not alone honey. I gained my weight 12 years ago as I was going through menopause. Before I ate like a horse and never gained a pound, my metabolism was high. Right now I'm trying to stay under 1000 calories for a week or two and then I have a week when I can add a little more. I stopped gaining and slowly I'm getting back in shape. I do not walk - it doesn't do anything for me. I do weight lifting and trying to build some muscle. You have to figure out what is working for you. Good luck my dear, hugs.

Julie said...

{big hug} to you Chris, be happy as you are, life's too short to be unhappy and sad. Just be sensible and why not take hold of DH's hand and enjoy a walk with the dog, think of it as quality together time with benefits (health benefits) xxx

Mii Stitch said...

Nope you are not alone!
I have been watching my weights since I was a teenager. I have never been morbidly obese or anything but never thin neither. I have done several diets & they all worked for me until I stopped (of course, you know what I'm on about). Now, I just eat healthy food that included plenty of fruits & vegs. I have totally cut off the naughty treats & am now even seriously cutting down on carbs... It's working... slowly and I'm happier with myself.
It will work for you too but I find the most important is to be ready mentally & accept you have to do something about it and just get on with it basically. I'm wishing you all the best & hope you reach your happy weight soon xx

Angela said...

I know how hard it is as i love to bake and my family love to eat what I bake, but at the end of the day the tough answer is the equation is simple, exercise enough to make sure you use up more calories than you consume. Make yourself go out with your husband with your dog, the more you do it the more addictive and enjoyable it will become. Try and vary where you walk it will make it more interesting and start by just joining them for part of the walk increasing the length as you go. One thing I do is try to keep cake and alcohol, for the weekend only, that way I have something to look forward to when I'm going without and often find that come the weekend I don't want to undo all the hard work from the week so don't have as much as I might otherwise. Have you tried joining a gym. you might find you like it and it is very reassuring to find that there are bodies of all shapes and sizes in there, especially in mid-morning when the gyms are popular with ladies of a similar shape and age to you, I know I'm one of them.

Pam in IL said...

Hmmm, lots to ponder about this. You're not alone! I find that the more I diet or try to lose, the more I actually gain so now I no longer focus on numbers. I try to make healthier food choices and incorporate ways to put more activity in my day. I don't deny myself anything, but I do use portion control. Good luck!

cucki said...

my dear...sending you big hugs and lots of love x

Nicola said...

You could have been writing about me Chris. Two years ago when my son got engaged I had the best reason in the world to lose weight? I had a little over a year to do it in too,. Easy? Should have been but I just couldn't do it, all I did was maintain my weight and gradually put on a few more pounds after the wedding. I was so disappointed with myself! I know all the theory, just have the greatest difficulty putting it into practice. Oh and I'm so glad to know that I'm not alone in hating walking! My husband too, would go with me, in fact do anything to help me, but like you I'm great at making excuses not to go out. If you find the answer do be sure to let us all know won't you?

Leslie: said...

Remember Billy Joel's song "I Love You Just the Way You Are." I constantly struggle, too, and have found that the more stress I have in my life, the more I gain. And I don't eat nearly as much as some of my friends do. I've been to dinner parties with ladies only where I couldn't believe how much they tucked away - I ate less than half at one such party and suffered immensely from feeling too full. How do they do it??? Right now I'm stressing because Lorne is facing another surgery but I just tell myself that this, too, shall pass and then I can get back on the treadmill or the bike or do more walking...if it's not raining or too windy out! LOL Sending HUGS!

Shebafudge said...

I really feel for you. I too struggle. Good luck with the continued struggle. xx

Yekaterina Haussler said...

You are definitely not alone in this, Chris. I struggle with weight too. When I was younger, I could eat anything and not gain an ounce. After giving birth to three children, though, my situation has changed... For a while I was pretty heavy - and following diets, exercising did not help a bit... Even walking did not work! It seemed that no matter what, I stayed at the same (high) weight. Finally, I threw out the scale and decided to just take it reasonably. No counting calories, no agonizing over a scoop of ice cream. I do try to walk as much as I can, and I did "cut out" most of sugary treats - eating veggies and fruit instead... I also discovered that good company can be a solution: the more I talk, the less I eat... hee. :) I am not as heavy as I was 2 years ago, and the other day I discovered by accident that I was able to fit into the dress that did not fit this time last year! I guess I am doing something right... But - it is a struggle. Hang in there. Do the best you can.

KimM said...

I, too, have struggled with my weight since I was a teen. It can be easy one day, a true challenge the next. Do the best you can and take one day at a time.
hugs and best wishes

Kaisievic said...

You know, Chris, I think the answer is to try to be happy at whatever weight you are. I, too, struggle to lose weight (and I do exercised - but probably not enough) but I try to focus on all the other positives in my life. You know, we all love you, just for you.