My husband and I feel really sad, because a house in our little close has gone up for sale and when we passed it yesterday it looked completely empty.. I checked the Estate Agent page on line and yes the house is empty.. nothing left, even the curtains gone and the light shades.
About two years ago we saw a whole lot of walking aides, ramps and a bed being delivered there. Then we recognized a district nurse going in because she had visited me when I had that catheter.. we don't see a lot of what happens in the cul de sac because our living room is in the back of our bungalow, its only if we're in the kitchen preparing or clearing up after a meal. We also noticed the purple sacks used for rubbish to be burnt, with their regular black sack rubbish. So we assumed somebody had been taken ill. I wanted to knock and ask was there anything we could do, or was there something we could fetch. But I was persuaded not to, although its the Welsh way to knock someone's door if you think they're not well.
I also noticed that there was always a landing light left on at night, like us; we leave our outside lights on, and a lamp on in the hall all night. Then a few weeks ago there wasn't a light there.
And now they've gone and we didn't even see them go.. so sad to think we didn't even realise for a week they were no longer there. I hope it was they wanted a change, although it looks like something happened and they had to move. What do you think, would you have knocked and ask if everything was alright?
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13 comments:
It is hard to know what to do in those circumstances.
Whenever someone has moved into our close, we've popped round to welcome them and introduce ourselves. People seem to look out for each other and we are glad about that. But it is hard if you do not know them at all.
Depends on the culture and ones closeness with neighbours. Some places I would other places I've lived I'd feel it would be regarded as intrusion. I'm no fan of those second type places but some people choose to live there for just that reason. What I call care and concern some others call nosey - depends on your view of the world.
I have lived in a small cul-de-sac for 35 years. Everyone knows everyone else and are really friendly, but there have been a couple of younger people over the years who haven't wanted to engage at all. Each of them only stayed for a couple of years before moving on in much the same way you describe.
It sounds like your person was housebound. I would have been unwilling to knock and disturb them if I hadn't already spoken to them and knew their circumstances. It would be awful if they were distressed as they were unable to come to the door or fell trying to do so.
I would have perhaps knocked when the aids were being delivered, but if you miss that window of opportunity you don't know if your knock would be making a bed or chair bound person struggle to the door. It's very hard to know what to do isn't it. Hopefully that person is now safely in a nursing home.
Where I live the houses aren't really that far apart from each other, but none of us are really friendly with each other. We mostly just mind our own business. I'm not sure what I would do if I thought they needed help but didn't ask for it.
It’s difficult to know what to do when you notice a change in the street. We have had three lots of new neighbours in the last few years and although I introduced myself to each family, there has been little contact since. As we are retired it’ s usually deliveries we end up with as the people are at work. Catriona
Difficult to know what to do, really. And your own personal circumstances have to be factored in as well; if you are well and able-bodied that's one thing, but if not, then things are different.
And as previous people have said, you'd be reluctant to disturb someone with serious mobility problems. I generally put a card through the door these days with our name and house number and good wishes.
A difficult question. I suppose if you saw them regularly to speak at least about the weather or the neighborhood you'd have wanted to check on them. But if they never shared any of their concerns and you rarely saw them, don't feel bad about not knocking on their door.
I probably would have knocked. We know all our neighbors and we all look after each other.
Taken ill, or were they very elderly. An ambulance may have called and this never good in which case there's not much you could have done. Or the resident may have moved into a nursing home. I try to keep up with the people I know in my cul de sac. I'd hate it if one disappeared suddenly and I had no idea it was coming.
Noticed you hadn't posted recently so I'm just stopping by to say hello and hope everything is ok.
All the best Jan
I live in an area that seems to thrive on being anonymous. Almost invisible. I would love to live in an area or community where neighbors noticed one another. Perhaps even enjoyed each other. And where people would knock on my door.
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