Was it good news?

Well kinda good news about my arm, I'm not sure, was it good? Although the surgeon greeted me with..'it's good news.' None of the ironmongery in my arm has moved. It is the same on the x-ray as it was on my post op visit. The surgeon was very pleased with it, but I did say I wanted a second opinion if there was to be any further surgery. He agreed although he thought it best to wait and see how it is in 6 weeks time. No physio,  no lifting or moving my arm outwards away from my body yet, just gentle movements with it hanging down. I couldn't argue with that as it still gives me pain if I try to lift it, so just to carry on as I have been doing. At least I can knit and I did clean and tidy in the lounge on Monday although not the vac. It just takes me a long time one handed. We weren't as long at the hospital, as we have been in the past, but we had prepared a casserole ( no DH  had and cooked it in the morning!)  and so we came home to our tasty chicken chasseur... it was lovely! So roll on end of June,  by that time it will be 14 months since I broke my arm!!

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Dreading today.

 This bulb cost me £5 a few years ago. The first year I wondered why I had bought it as it only had one flower stem so looked pretty pathetic.. but this year it has five!!

It's name is Camassia alba, the more popular are blue.  

A close up showing the individual flowers open; I think it's a shame that the lower flowers die off as the top buds open, so there are only a few open at one time. So did I get my moneys worth, maybe?

I am writing my blog to take my mind off my appointment with the surgeon this afternoon. I have gone through various scenarios in my mind as to what he'll say and I am determined that whatever he says, I will ask for a second opinion.

At the moment my arm is kinda ok. It only hurts a little if I move it in a certain way, but I haven't got that awful pain that I had after that second operation.  

I've had a hiccup with #2 GS's socks I had forgotten how to do the Kitchener stitch at the toe, so had to watch a 'u-toob.' Whatever, knitting has made me feel more normal.

In the greenhouse, I have managed to pot on several seedlings and I have paid a 'gardener' to clear my main large flower border of the weeds and grass. I should say gardener loosely, as although he advertised himself as a gardener, he didn't even know the name of oxalis , that little pink flower that spreads everywhere!  And he needed close watching, even so annoyingly my white phlox disappeared. DH, being the love he is, did go through the wheel barrow of weeds to see if he could find it, but it wasn't there!

Ah well, the main flower bed is looking a lot better.

 

I am dreading this afternoon's appointment, but whatever happens I will have to go through it, if I am to get my life back and an arm that works! Thank you to those of you who left such encouraging comments.  

That pesky..Oxalis

 

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I want my life back!!

I want  my normal life back, I want to garden, cook, and even do housework. I can dust but that's about it. When I try to use the vacuum, I can't guide it properly and I hate it bumping into the legs of our furniture.  Although I clean the bathroom I haven't got enough strength in my left hand to clean the shower screen properly. I have an appointment with the surgeon next week, I am dreading what he will say, in the meantime ......my 'lefty' life goes on and on. I have tried knitting again, I can just about manage, so I decided to knit socks for my youngest GS who starts his GCSEs next Monday. I thought they would be nice for him to put on when he got in from school and kicks off his shoes. I always tuck 'note' in each sock, so he could buy some chocs or what ever.. he'll need the sugar to help him study.

DH is still looking after me but I oh so want to do things myself.

 

We are presently having our kitchen tarted up, new cupboard doors, new work surfaces and a new sink unit. It is looking very nice and nearly finished.. we are camping out in the lounge, the dining room is full of all the kitchen stuff, I had no idea we had so much stuff. It is piled on the table, sideboard, and on the  floor and even on the piano! (will I ever play again?)

It will be fantastic when it is finished I will post some pics as soon as the last bit is finished. I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately and weepy. It's now 1 year and 4 weeks since I broke my arm!

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A Week Away

We have had a week away in Southwold.. we had all four seasons in one day nearly every day. Rain, hail SNOW and sunshine!! Our cottage was very high spec and catered for our every need. Very comfortable and full central heating,  which with weather we really needed. And when the weather was horrid, we sat in and drank very good coffee, ate cherry almond tray bake and read, it was perfect. And when the sun shone, I walked.
I walked every day, yes me! I even walked 1.2 miles on Thursday, the most I have done for a very long time.
I coped with my arm ok,  as I do have it in a support as well as the sling but the ache goes on and on.. but we did enjoy ourselves and ate well. I am dreading weighing in the morning, but what ever I am back on the food plan and if I can commit myself to walking every day,  I can keep to this food plan..We needed the break and Southwold is such a lovely little town The beach huts sell for between £75,000 to £120,000, would you believe that?  They are very pretty but all that money for a hut???
Hope the weather warms up soon, my seedlings grew while we were away so I shall be potting some on this weekend and I have a gardener booked next week, I shall have a tidy garden again.. yeh!

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DEVASTATED

Yesterday was my post op. appointment with the surgeon. He did not have good news. This second op has not succeeded in keeping my bone together. The crisscross wires have held and the bolt through my bone, but the small plate at the shoulder end of my bone has come away and the' pins' supposingly holding it in place look on the x-ray as though they are coming out. I did say right away to him,  that I am not having anything else done for the moment as after this second op. the pain has been unbearable. So he agreed and I have a further appointment to see him in 5 weeks time but I am going to ask for a second opinion as to what can be done... he is a very nice person and a technically good surgeon, with a very good reputation,  but I can only take so much. I am upset as you can imagine, the thought of living the rest of my life like this is daunting.. I have had a bad night waking and crying, we were drinking tea at 3:30am again!
Lots of prayers needed please!

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Crafty bits

I did this before my first op.  March 10th Lots more squares which are lovely to knit as they don't take long and easy to do.

 

 And this little cross stitch is finished as far as I'm concerned. There is a little bit more that is in the design at the top, but I am happy with it as it is. 

I will make it into something when I can sew again.

Update on my arm, I still  have pain and of course I can't use it, but I feel better in myself. I am showered and dressed each day now and that makes me feel better. I have a hospital check up on Wednesday, so hopefully all will be well and the x-rays will show my bone has held together.

Thank you for all the messages, they are wonderful to read. 

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All over bar the pain!

Thank you for all your kind thoughts and prayers it has been lovely to come home and read them all.   So I am home and all done, but a lot of pain. I came home yesterday, in a hospital gown with my skirt and jacket over it, as the dressing is too big to put my arm into my blouse sleeve. This time I have a rod through the bone, wires crisscrossed from the top to the bottom and part plated, so that should hold it. I have strict instructions  about not moving my arm up or away from my body so I guess I will be in a hospital gown for a few days, anyway it is too painful to move.  DH  will help me to shower with just the hose part of the shower to keep the dressing dry.  My arm will be shorter but I can still reach my mouth to eat so what the heck???
We stopped off at one of the many Costas and brought home a coffee and of course a raspberry almond slice and we sat in the garden drinking it. So that made me feel I am really home.
My mother's cousin has just phoned from Porthcawl, my home town where I was born,  to arrange for us, my cousin from Shropshire and herself all to meet when we are down there. This is the first year ever that I didn't go to Wales on the weekend of Psalm Sunday to put flowers on my mother's  grave, we are to go in June.. perhaps I should have booked longer than a week as my cousin on my father's side of the family wants to meet up and my friend from school, that I have known since we sat together in school age 8!
I am very tired altho' I have slept an awful lot in hospital but I think that was the morphine.. and the best bit about my stay??? I was able to walk to the toilet Friday night about 10:30 and wee-ed...bliss!! Only a woman could understand that!
  Thank you again my on line friends, it's lovely to have you all xxxx

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Another operation!!

After the bleeding last week I went to have my arm checked yesterday and the operation hasn't worked. I thought something was wrong because I started having some horrendous pain as though something was cutting me!
The surgeon knew straight away as soon as I told him and he felt my arm. I am very upset and although he kept saying how sorry he was and how gutted he was that it hadn't worked, it's me with the pain which has been eye watering.  It's the top part of the bone that is soft and that's because it's been 11 months of not using it, I don't know how many times I have asked over the year for something to be done and each time I was told it will heal in its own time.. 
He wanted me to go into hospital  there and then yesterday evening,  but I asked could I come home last night and then he said we'll do it Friday morning.. so I should be in just over night again, hopefully. This time he is going to use 3 wires crisscrossing  from the shoulder end of the bone to the elbow end. I don't know how much longer I can cope with this.. and I was having my hair done tomorrow, so I  have had to cancel that.

I already have 2 huge bruises from the Jr Dr trying to take blood. I would love to stick a couple of needles in some Drs and see if they think it's just a sharp prick!! So I have to go through all the first days post op of pain and discomfort again..

The x-ray yesterday showed the plate with 3 screws in place and 3 that were at the bottom of the plate lying across it where they had fallen out and one just at the fold of my arm and shoulder which is where I can feel something sticking in me because it is sticking in me!!

This simple trip hasn't just taken a year of my life but I feel it has aged me 10 years, I haven't used make up for most of the time, it's just too awkward with my left hand,  I can't style my hair, hence the weekly hair dresser app.

I could scream and scream and scream! Thank you for your messages and thoughts and prayer but I need a lot of prayers please.

 

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Easter Blessings

Happy Easter all

Hope today is filled with Blessings and that you have the joy of family with you.
We are having the tradition meal of lamb, joined by my #1son, his girl friend and her little boy. 
In 2002 I spent Easter in Israel and walked in the steps of Jesus. It was an amazing experience, one that I probably will never do again, but when I read certain bits in the Bible I can picture the places. I looked across the Kidron valley to Jerusalem and always smile to myself when it is mentioned in the Bible, the sun was shining when we were there and it was an awesome sight.

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A bloody hic-up

I have had my post op. follow up and my wound has bled. Not fresh blood, and although DH and I had noticed blood on the dressing on Tuesday morning, the stain had grown by Wednesday morning, but all contained by the dressing; however in the afternoon when the nurse helped me take off my cardi and blouse it had bled a lot more. Dh and I hadn't seen this because my cardi is navy. The consultant was concerned,  so I have been given an out of clinic appointment next week, isn't that amazing, junior Drs striking and the consultant willing to see me in his lunch hour! This appointment is prior to the probability of admission to hospital to release the large blood clot behind the healed wound. This is not the sort of clot in veins but a haematoma, a bruise in the tissues. I might have to stay in over night and if I do I will be prepared this time,  because when I had my op. I had no food for 40 hours!! So this time I will have biscuits with me!! Not the news I wanted but I appreciate that all is being done for me.

I did however have a weepy moment last  night trying to get comfortable in bed with three pillows behind me and two under my arm which helps to reduce the pain. I still have to sleep sitting up. Lovely DH has soaked and washed my blouse and cardi twice and the stains have gone. I came home in a hospital gown under my jacket!!

Although things are not perfect,  I still feel I have many blessings from friends, my house is filled with cards and flowers.

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