That was a nice afternoon.

 Although we still have our groceries delivered (started in the first lockdown) we now pop to Tesco for individual yogurts, because they don't deliver them. We go on a Monday afternoon, because it is usually quiet. Having slept really well Sunday night, after 3 nights of insomnia, I walked into the store quite happily with my wheels, Dh has the trolley, but after half an hour of walking up and down the aisle my legs were saying.. no more! We were looking for a Welsh firm that made beef products like beef pies with pastry, as that's what Dh has chosen for his birthday with mash, greens and gravy. So we were looking to see where they were stocked on the shelves; a while ago I'd seen them in an end of aisle fridge. They were opposite caws (cheese) Yes, all the labels are written in Welsh with the English under

By the time we got home I was shattered, so no cleaning, no gardening and no clearing out, but we had taken a bag of books to the charity shelf in Tesco, so some clearing done! And I did get a nice card for my GD who has just passed her last Accountancy Exam, so now fully qualified as a Chartered Accountant. My youngest GS phoned on Sunday to tell me he is now a practicing Paralegal and his brother has now got his Doctorate and can now be addressed as Dr.. I've always included  their qualifying letters after their names so now he is Dr...... BSc Hons and it seems with even more letters, wow! It seems my grand children are very clever, obviously taking after their grandma!

When we got home, the builder from number 14 was just finishing and came to chat. He is the son in law of the lady who was living there. She has been living in a flat that he and her daughters own, while the work has been on going. Now over 2 years, covid, shortage of materials and he had an accident so wasn't able to work for months.  She isn't coming back,  but he, Ian, and his wife, Debbie hope to move in after Christmas. He was very nice and when we remarked that we liked the design of the house, he told us he had drawn the plans. It is very pretty, a house now from a bungalow. When the skip and all the bits have gone I'll take a photo.

And we have bought our first Christmas item, a jar of Fig and Balsamic chutney. Yeh!

So overall a pleasant afternoon, altho no cleaning  etc completed there's tomorrow?

Chrisxx

Just stuff.

 Dh and I have had a crisis talk this morning, we have loads of things that need doing but we keep avoiding them, we've let things get on top of us and so hence the talk.

We've had everything major that needed doing,  done, but there are some little things that only we can do and that is sorting out the end bedroom. We have pictures, photos, books, and other stuff. And that's it, it's just stuff. Do we really want it all?

When my aunts died I had the job of clearing their house. They had lived there for over 60 years and never threw anything away. There were suitcases as well as wardrobes full of clothes, that hadn't been worn for years, but also as well as personal items there was china, boxes and boxes of it and bedding. Years earlier they used to run a  B&B business,  hence the china. The three of the four bedrooms were full. It took me several weeks with my daughter helping on one weekend and my school friend who used to come after work. I did have a firm to take some furniture and boxes of saleable items, but it was hard work.

Our end room isn't that bad but I feel if we had a concerted effort it would be clear and I could sew in there, if, if, if!!

Its a beautiful day, dry and bright and as we had a good front garden tidy on Saturday we feel ready to tackle that end room. I peeped in there and its not that bad, so I should soon be sewing again.

I have this quilt on the go, and with the weather getting colder plenty of time to sew.

We must get that room cleared of stuff.

Chrisxx

Good day; bad night!

 We still like our coffees in the town and sometimes we are joined by my old school friend, but more often I talk to someone I met one day in town.

She, Pat, lives in a flat in one of the sheltered houses near the town.

Its always interesting to speak to her, she is very informative. Like me she walks with a Rollator, (wheels) which is how we came to speak.

I wheeled up along side her one day, and said, 'Do you want to race?' 

And we both laughed.  Like me her family lives away and she walks to town every day and then often through the main street to the promenade. It's all pedestrianised, so a pleasant walk. She always looks a bit lonely, so I look forward to seeing her. She's always happy to chat.

We managed to wander there yesterday afternoon before the heavens opened. I wanted a card for my GD, who has passed the last of her Accountancy Exams. I wanted to get a really nice one from one of the very pretty nick-nac shops.

We'd been to our Reading Book group  meeting at the library, although why I'm still going I don't know. We were given lists of books last May to choose the next 10 books and so far not one  I had chosen or one of Dh's choice have been our monthly read! In fact I haven't read the last two because I couldn't get into either and also one had very small faint print, so a big no no from me!

But today I've struggled as I'm back to bad nights. We've been to the Slimming World meeting (I lost a miserly pound!) And then drove to Costa, not our own town one, but out of town, just for a change. It was crowded and very noisy so we sat outside under the awning in the dry. We weren't cold, but then we both wear wool. me a cardi and Dh a jumper, under our coats. It was really pleasant in the fresh air and interesting to watch the cars and people. 

Home now and the plan is to do some housework!

But I'm back to bad nights. I started to cry about Nell when we switched off our lights last night and then couldn't get off to sleep. I kept remembering her warm, chunky body pressed against my legs when she wanted something. Strange but true, when she wanted nibbles in an evening, she came to me to ask Dh for her. It was always quite funny how she turned back to face me and then looked to Dh; such a love.

Dh talked me through it stroking my back, he is so good to me and eventually I dropped off.. but woke at 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. Stuck it in bed for an hour and then went into the lounge with my kindle. I crawled back into bed about 6 ish and bliss went to sleep, till Dh gently woke me to get ready for SW. I was in a deep sleep, warm and comfortable, the best sleep I've had for ages. And all for a miserly pound!

So I have to get myself together and crack on, as our SW consultant once said was said to her, when she complained about her weight to her then Dr.

So another week has whizzed by!

What have your nights or days been like?

Chrisxx

Holy Foot Steps.

 I walked here in 2002 in the  footsteps of Jesus. So its with a great sadness to see all the devastation with this on going war. 

We stood across the other side of the Kidron Valley looking at this magnificent dome.

It was an amazing 10 days and something I will always remember.

We stayed out in the desert in a Kubutz, and on the first night we walked out into the desert and sang by the light of the stars and the moon. Whenever I hear or sing, ' Be Still for the Presence of the Lord.' I am right back there. 

We walked through Jerusalem and went to the Wailing Wall to put our prayers. We had communion in the Garden of Gethsemane and at Galilee. I picked and still have some little pebbles from the shore line.

It was an amazing experience, but even then, there were bombings. We spent our last 3 nights in the seaside town of Natalya. The feast of the Passover was being celebrated and a bombing happened a short distance from our hotel.  Quite frightening, we walked to see where it had happened the next day, 5 people had been killed and buildings with every window broken. 

Why? 

The war is still going on in the country of the 'Chosen People.'

But I have been there, and walked in Holy Foot Steps.

Chrisxx

A better day.

 

,,,,,,,for the comments on my post. After spending some time in the garden, putting my dahlias to bed for the winter, I felt a lot better and my mood lifted. I have so many blessings to be thankful for.

Nothing like the fresh air to blow away the cobwebs and there was plenty of wind yesterday to do that, but I wasn't cold. Dh mowed the back grass and strimmed the edges, so although we've still weeds and growth to deal with, it is looking a lot better.

Shame the rudbeckias blew over in the gales of a few weeks ago, although they still look bright, they are my favourite flowers and I grow them from seed every year.

It's been quite successful growing the cosmos in a pot, thank you Monty for your idea.

                                                   

I 'm having a reading block again, even authors I really like can't hold my attention. But I saw a book on a blog that interested me by Elizabeth Berg. I've down loaded 'Talk Before Sleep' on my kindle and it reads a bit like Anita Shreve, so my sort of book. She was my favourite author and I felt really sad to read of her death in 2018.

I should say my new Kindle Fire. My 15 year old kindle would no longer down load books, so I treated myself to this new one and I love it, it's back lit, so you don't need a light to read it. I happily read this in bed as it light to hold and I can enlarge the font. 

We're enjoying living here and walk along the promenade most afternoons. The light house is one of the introductory pictures on Songs Of Praise; it always gives me a joy when I see it on the programme.

  

So I've had a pleasant day, and although the rain arrived just after 3, we just missed it and arrived home from the Library Reading group dry and ready for a welcome cuppa. Life is good, what do think?

Chrisxx

Hurt that won't heal, what would you do?

My mind will not always remember exactly what happened, but my heart will always remember the feeling. 

And as much as I try to forget, its like my heart feels that 'punch' again and I die a little again inside.

My sensible #1son says let it go mum and I've tried, but it won't go away. Worst times are nights when I can't sleep and there are lots of those thoughts; what did I do, or what didn't I do?

Years ago in her teenage years, she was asked to join some friends to play badminton and to bring a friend to even up the numbers and she asked me to go with her. Of course I didn't and she phoned a neighbour to asked her daughter to go with her.

When she was having her first daughter, I was phoned to be with her while she was in labour, her husband had been sent out for arguing with the Dr. I drove the 64 miles like the clappers and stayed right into the late evening.

I was there for every baby crisis; why wouldn't she sleep? Feed? Stop crying? 

And later with the birth of her sons, I was always there if I was needed, although some evenings after a day at work I was tired and ready to put up my feet, but I still drove those 64 miles.

But one afternoon, that phone call ended it all.

A tirade of abuse, shouting and screaming, I burst into tears and hung up.

And since then? I've tried but the hurt I felt has never gone and altho' we have spoken and in fact, she and her daughter and the daughter's boy friend stayed a Saturday night, when we lived in Suffolk, we hardly speak these days. And for the first time ever I didn't send her a birthday present. 

I've decided to let her go, sometimes in life when you're so hurt you can't get back to how things were. I think some days I'll phone but the memories linger and the hurt is still there.

What would you do if you were me?

 

Chrisxx

An away time.

 It seemed the ideal time to have a break, we haven't been away since we moved house from Billericay, so where to go?

We're not very adventurous and with losing Nell, we just needed somewhere we knew and loved, so we went to Southend. We spent so many very happy days there, summer and winter as it was just 17 miles from where we lived, now its 254 miles!

Rossi's was a firm favourite, their Italian ice cream and outside seating facing the sea, perfect.

 

So there we were at the weekend, watching the little boats and enjoying the sunshine.

It was also to meet up with my #1 son who still lives in Suffolk, a sort of half way place to meet.  And when you're at the seaside you have to have .......fish and chips! 

It was so lovely to see my son, it had been 18months since we last saw each other. I hadn't realised how much I had missed him, till be gave me that first hug. Of my four children he is the only one, who keeps in touch regularly and to whom I always knew would help in the past, if I had a problem. 

And of course we had to have one of their delicious ice creams.

It was such a relief to get home, driving on the M25 isn't for us anymore and all the traffic in Essex was horrendous. It was sad when we did get home, no dog to greet us, but we have lovely happy memories of her; she loved Southend too and Rossi's ice cream.

Chrisxx

14 1/2 YEARS

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our pretty, little Nell. 

Suddenly, she had a sort of 'episode' , couldn't stand, panicked and was floundering and scrabbling to stand, then was violently sick. 

Dh carried her outside where she tried to squat to wee but flopped on her side. We quickly phoned our vets and we rushed off to see her.

Nell couldn't stand properly when we got there and the vet said her bad heart was struggling. 

She hasn't been really well for a few months, off her food and trying to get her tablets down her has been very difficult. She has slept more, she used to be in her bed before we went and wasn't waking till an hour after us. So with a very heavy heart we decided to let her go to 'run free over Rainbow Ridge.'

We've had her joy, fun, and sometimes feisty way for over 14 years, she was such a love, always pleased to see us. Loved playing fetch, in fact when we bought her a new ball a few years ago, she would not go 'walkies..' She went out of the drive and then turned back and once inside the house, she rushed to her new ball; it went to bed with her for weeks on end!

We're weepy one minute, then laughing the next when we remember one of her we not so good moments; she rolled in a dead fox in the meadow where we used to live in Essex.. phew what a smell!!

We miss you Nell, but we'll always remember you.

Chrisxx

It's arrived!

 It's Saturday and its happened! I opened the French doors this morning for Nell to pop out and there it was the first chill of Autumn! I hate that feeling but have to admit that some days in June and July were scorchio! And flowers dried up before their buds opened.

But here we are with late summer blooms.

I take cuttings and plant seeds even without a greenhouse. This bungalow has south and west facing windows, so ideal for seed sowing. 

But today we're tidying up the flower beds after the rain, because suddenly everything has grown. Lots of plants self seeded, but they are towering above the others. And the weeds are gigantic, but easy to pull out as the ground is soft after the rain.

We've picked all the green tomatoes, they're not going to ripen outside now.

But hopefully the grapes will. I've trimmed off the leaves and as they're south west facing, trained up our pergola so they should ripen.

I grow rudbeckia every year altho' this year with the rain a few weeks ago, they grew very tall and then the winds of last weekend, they fell over.

Dahlias give such a beautiful show and these are my favourites this year.

And a peak at our new patio. I had it laid with the zig zag edges and we have already planted trees and shrubs in our new fence border!

It's very white and I do like it after the hassle of having it laid!

So in a few weeks time I'll be putting the dahlias and pelargoniums in store for the winter, in the garage. Then I'll be planting some new spring bulbs, so exciting times to come.

Gardens are life giving and my happy place!

Chrisxx

I always knew I was special!!

 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT THE 1% ERS:

99% of people born between 1930 and 1946 (GLOBALLY) are now dead.

If you were born in this time span, your ages range between 77 and 93 years old (a 16-year age span) and you are one of the rare surviving one-percenters.

You are the smallest group of children born since the early 1900's.

You are the last generation, climbing out of the depression, who can remember the winds of war and the impact of a world at war that rattled the structure of our daily lives for years.

You are the last to remember ration books for everything from tea to sugar to shoes. You saved tin foil and poured fried meat fat into cans.

You can remember milk being delivered to your house early in the morning and placed in the "milk box" at the front door. Discipline was enforced by parents and teachers. You are the last generation who spent childhood without television and instead, you “imagined” what you heard on the radio.

With no TV, you spent your childhood "playing outside". There was no city playground for kids. The lack of television in your early years meant that you had little real understanding of what the world was like.

We got “black-and-white” TV in the late 50s that had 3 stations and no remote.

Telephones (if you had one) were one to a house and hung on the wall in the kitchen (who cares about privacy). Computers were called calculators; they were hand-cranked. Typewriters were driven by pounding fingers, throwing the carriage, and changing the ribbon. INTERNET and GOOGLE were words that did not exist.

Newspapers and magazines were written for adults and your dad would give you the comic pages after he read the news. The news was broadcast on your radio in the evening. The radio network gradually expanded from 3 stations to thousands.

New highways would bring jobs and mobility. Most highways were 2 lanes and there were no Motorways. You went downtown to shop. You walked to school.

Your parents were suddenly free from the confines of the depression and the war, and they threw themselves into working hard to make a living for their families.

You weren't neglected, but you weren't today's all-consuming family focus. They were glad you played by yourselves. They were busy discovering the postwar world. You entered a world of overflowing plenty and opportunity; a world where you were welcomed, enjoyed yourselves. You felt secure in your future, although the depression and poverty were deeply remembered.

Polio was still a crippler. Everyone knew someone who had it.

You are the last generation to experience an interlude when there were no threats to our country. World War 2 was over and the cold war, terrorism, global warming, and perpetual economic insecurity had yet to haunt life. Only your generation can remember a time after WW2 when our world was secure and full of bright promise and plenty. You grew up at the best possible time, a time when the world was getting better.

More than 99% of you are retired now, and you should feel privileged to have "lived in the best of times!" If you have already reached the age of 77 years old, you have outlived 99% of all the other people on this planet. You are a 1% 'er!

Now isn't this interesting? Are you a 1%?

Chrisxx