Can you imagine wanting something that others say is an easy target? And you really, really want it but it keeps slipping out of your grasp?
That’s me and trying to lose weight. I started a record book of my weight loss journey 14 years ago. I called it my ‘Fat Book.’ In it I stuck photos of me, photos cut out of magazines of women who were the shape I wanted to be, not Kate Moss look alikes, but ordinary women. Also clothes I would like to wear, exercises I should do.. one was a bike, can you imagine me on a bike?? I couldn’t balance and as I got older I was afraid of falling and breaking a leg, or an arm. Foods I ate or didn't eat, how I felt and what I was trying to do.
So why can’t I do it? Some days it is a struggle; today I wanted cake, but I ate cherries, an apple and then a cup of beef oxo. I felt full and actually lost the craving, but if we had cake in the house I would have eaten it! I didn’t put on any weight when we were in France, but I had already put on 3 pounds before we went! It was like a green light, we were having a holiday and to me that meant ‘treats!’ And I treated myself generously.
So here I am again, trying to lose weight! Building a new dream to be slimmer.. note I didn’t say slim, I ‘d be happy to be slimmer.
For a two years I have had my…….Dream weight.
Happy weight.Acceptable weight.
Disappointed weight.All listed for me to see daily and in two years I haven’t even got to my disappointed weight.
Does anyone else ever feel like me, that being slimmer it is out of my grasp? Or are you how I used to be, could eat anything and stay the same weight?
What is the answer?